A farewell to prudishness

When I was younger, say…in my late teens and early twenties (okay, maybe even my mid twenties*)…I was a bit of a prude. Let’s call it “conservative” for arguments’ sake. Much to my parents’ delight this resulted in my remaining a virgin for a very long time. A little less to their delight, though, is that I tended to over dress myself. Which is to say, I completely covered my figure up even though my folks (MY FOLKS!) thought I should show it off a little more.

I wore baggy corduroy or cargo pants, crew necked shirts (never ever a v-neck), and doc martens. When I dressed up, it’d be in vintage (high necked) dresses from my grandmother….and doc martens. I wanted to look nice but I did not, under any circumstances, want to draw attention to my “attributes”.

And had you suggested that I show my breasts to a complete stranger – or even worse – my dad, well I would have assumed you were on crack.

Then I had a baby.

Admittedly, by this time I was no longer a virgin (I kill me!) and I was wearing v-neck shirts. But up until baby-day I was still pretty shy about showing too much cleavage or undressing in front of most people (with the exception of my husband and probably my mom).

Mere seconds after Boo’s birth, though, there I was…legs still spread wide with a doctor and a resident or two stitching me up…and my hospital gown pulled down for some “skin to skin” contact with Boo Boo. And all I could think was “Whaaaaa….?”

Boo's first look at Mama

Just moments after Boo was born in the delivery room.

And then before I knew it, there I was in the nursery trying to get little Boo to latch on….topless. In the hospital room still trying to get Boo to latch on…topless. With each and every nurse manipulating, pushing, squeezing and trying to jam my nipple into his little tongue-tied mouth. Later that week at the CLSC breastfeeding clinic….out came my boobs. And then once again with the lactation consultant at home. Then again at St. Mary’s breastfeeding clinic.

Attempting to latch in the nursery

In the nursery, as I attempted to get Boo Boo to latch.

Boo snoozing on Mama during a little skin-to-skin contact.

At home, after a little (failed) practice latching on and some skin-to-skin.

Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, had a full view of what I had so desperately tried to cover up for so long.

Including my dad.

The upshot, of course, is that after two-and-a-half weeks of cup feeding, and then three months using a nipple shield, Boo and I are now breastfeeding pros. He can grab and mash my nipples into his own mouth in the pitch black, without any fuss whatsoever.

And me? Well….let’s just say I’m not so worried about a little (or a lot of) cleavage anymore. Especially considering my little man will regularly grab the neck of my shirt and pull it down (seemingly just because) no matter where we are (but usually out in public).

* and my mid thirties. Ahem.


7 comments on “A farewell to prudishness

    1. Andrea (Modern Rags)

      It really is…suddenly all of your own hang-ups and priorities shift, and all you can think about is taking care of the little one, no matter what it requires of you (or no matter what it exposes of you!!). Glad to hear you’ve been able to reclaim a little modesty though…I suspect I’ll be doing the same once I’m able :)

    1. Andrea (Modern Rags)

      Thanks Marisa! I was a little hesitant to post them since, you know…I’m topless in all of them (and I’m still kind of a prude at heart), but felt they really illustrated the post well (and I’m obviously not THAT much of a prude anymore). I did, however, make some very strategic crops to the photos to make them a little less revealing ;)

  1. Kirsty @ My Home Truths

    Sadly, I’m still a prude, even after 3 kids and 3 failed attempts at breast feeding in hospital. I wear crop tops underneath my shirts to ensure no cleavage is seen (although I’m an A cup so there’s not much to see anyway!) so good on you for relaxing a little. Thanks for linking up and I’m in love with your blog header and sidebar – love, love, love the style and the colour palette!!!

    1. Andrea (Modern Rags)

      Thanks so much Kirsty!
      I love layering too, but for the moment it’s a little too bulky to pull up multiple layers when feeding my little man. I do look forward to adding those little pops of colour under my shirt again!

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