Category Archives: Mummyhood

Sleep Training (Part 2)

So previously I’d blogged about getting Boo to nap better. I’m happy to report that it worked! I am now able to leave the room once my little man is asleep…..it’s liberating and amazing and incredibly convenient.

How did we do it?

Exactly as planned: Once my little man was asleep I put him in his crib, but I stayed in the room and sat next to the crib for a few weeks where I could hush and soothe him as needed. Next, I moved across the room. I did that for another few weeks and I did my very best to only verbally (and very minimally) soothe him if required. Note that in both of these scenarios, I didn’t just sit there staring adoringly at my sleeping child. No no…I took advantage of not having him in my arms and fiddled on my iPad or worked on my laptop.

Finally, I left the room altogether where I could do….whatever I wanted! (Provided whatever I wanted to do was in the house.)

Unfortunately, none of this helped his suck-to-sleep association. Though he was napping off of me, he was still totally hooked on my nipple to fall asleep. For naps. At bedtime. When he’d wake up in the middle of the night. It’s all he wanted. In fact he seemed to need it. Desperately.

So we’ve begun to tackle his bedtime/nighttime nipple obsession.

Boo's new lovey

One of my attempts to break (or at least lessen) Boo’s suck-to-sleep association, was the introduction of snuggly blanket, or a lovey…I slept with it for a few days to make it smell more familiar, then began nursing him with it. He couldn’t care less about it for a good long while. Only now – maybe 2 or so months after its introduction – is he starting to take notice of it.

The plan: Create a very predictable bedtime routine that moves nursing to its beginning. Following nursing, change diaper and put on pyjamas. Next up comes all of the hygiene-related activities like brushing teeth, washing face and hands, and anything else that may pop up (e.g. put on moisturizer, drops in ears, whatever). Go say goodnight to Daddy. Return to bedroom and read a story or two. Then once story time is over, sing a bedtime song as I put Boo into his sleepsack, turn on his sound machine and turn out the light. Finish song (I usually sing it twice), kiss Boo goodnight and then rock him to sleep. Put him in crib.

Graco sound machine

Boo’s new Graco Sound Machine runs continuously through the night – not sure if it helps him get to sleep, but it does seem to help keep him asleep by muting other noises in the house or on the street (Montreal middle-of-the-night street cleaning anyone? Ugh).

So far, the plan is working quite well (dare I say very well?). Though the little man stages many escapes through the beginning of the routine (mostly after PJs and before story time), we’ve been sticking to it religiously. Once I start putting on his sleepsack there’s generally a fair amount of complaining, and much more protest after I put out the lights…but I’ve been sticking to my guns and only rocking and shushing him to sleep. No boob.

If he wakes up in the middle of the night, it’s the same story. No boob.

And you know what? It must be working. Even though he still clearly doesn’t like bedtime, he barely wakes up in the middle of the night anymore. Which means my little man who previously woke up an average of 2-3 times per night is now SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT most nights! Or, he’s waking up and soothing himself back to sleep, aware that there’ll be no boob offered if he calls to me.

Which totally rocks.

Moo, Baa, La la la

I’ve been trying to read at least two different books at bedtime. One longer, and one MUCH shorter one. Sandra Boynton’s Moo, Baa, La La La!
fits the bill perfectly – Boo loves making animal sounds, and I can get through it in about 1 minute…so even if he wants me to read it again….it’s ok!

The next step in our plan is to gradually move up when I put him into his crib….it’s going to be tough, as Boo does not appear to have a dozing-off stage. He goes from eyes wide open…..to suddenly eyes closed and then asleep within moments. I’m going to spend the next little while looking for any additional clues for when he’s getting sleepy (which will be tough…because I’ll be honest, I don’t sit there staring at him…I tend to close my own eyes and relax).

In the meantime, I’ll start devising a plan for getting him off my nipple at naptime….stay tuned.

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Thoughts (okay, a rant) on screen time

I follow a number of mummy groups on Facebook. I’ve posted a few small questions or comments, but mostly I lurk and read what others are saying. Recently one mummy asked what channels and shows were best for educational and musical programming for her 9 month old.

Immediately, I knew I had to contribute….if only to be a voice that provided a suggestion (Sesame Street, duh) and didn’t go all holier than thou about screen time. Because there were a few of those.

You know the ones. The “paediatrician’s recommend no screen time before 2 and MY child is 3 years old and has NEVER EVER even seen a screen” ones. The ones that kindly suggest that, rather than allowing your child screen time, you spend time playing learning games and reading to them. The ones that think they’re better than you.

A few thoughts….

Maybe these people are lucky to live in mansions, or at least very large houses, where they have separate play rooms filled to bursting with learning toys. Houses in which a baby or toddler can roam about, and never once come across a television screen (would such parents allow their children to roam about? Hmm…).

I do not live in such a house. I live in a small bungalow. My son has a small bedroom with a few toys and mostly books in it. There is no play room. The rest of his toys are in the living room, where our TV just happens to be located. So yeah….he’s been exposed to the TV screen pretty much since birth, because we like to have him with us, and we like to watch television from time to time. Has he been paying attention to it all this time? Not really. Opening credits featuring lively music do tend to grab his attention. But unless it’s Olympic Hockey or Luge (for real!), or Elmo….he couldn’t really care less, and goes about playing with his own toys with the TV in the background.

Boo Boo watching CBC

Boo was playing with the universal remote – and somehow managed to turn on the TV (I can barely turn on the TV) – where a children’s program was already on! I rewarded his ingenuity (luck) by allowing him to watch a bit. After a few minutes he lost interest, and got back to playing guitar.

Many of these “my child has NEVER” types are very active in the mummy groups….which require a screen (be it computer, tablet or mobile) to participate. When and where are these women looking at, and commenting on, Facebook? Considering their level of participation, how are they keeping this part of their lives completely hidden from their budding geniuses? Are their children so engrossed in interactive play (with someone else presumably) that they don’t see mummy using her screens? Or is it because they’re in daycare, or with the nanny, and so it doesn’t really matter what mummy’s doing?

My Boo absolutely sees me checking my email, social media, or texts from time to time. I don’t do it excessively in his presence…but I don’t pretend it doesn’t exist (plus, since I work from home, sometimes I HAVE to read/answer that email).

Do they never answer their mobile phones in the presence of their children? And if so, did their luddite children show no curiosity whatsoever in them? (What kid isn’t interested in the phone? ANY phone?) Have they never used Skype or FaceTime to video chat with a long-distance loved one who’d like to see their child’s face, in real time, to see their expressions and reactions?

I’m not lucky enough to have everyone I love live in the same city as me. My parents live in another city, and have recently started the transition to snowbird (spending more and more time in Florida – lucky ducks), which means I often find myself using FaceTime so that Nana and Gramps can see their little Boo.

Do they not use their smartphones to snap pictures or capture videos of their angelic cherubs? Do they never show said pictures or videos to their little angels? (I mean…how cute is it to see their reactions to seeing THEMSELVES on the phone??)

If not….WTF? Are they only using a digital camera? Do they ever download and VIEW their pictures/videos? Or are they completely analog? Do their children only see printed photos and no home videos whatsoever?

Boo watching home videos

We upload our home videos to a media server and watch them on our TV….Boo enjoys them as much as we do!

And what about interactive play involving a screen? I’m not talking about plopping your kid in front of an app, but rather using a screen in a complementary fashion to other activities. For instance: Boo loves to look at books of animal pictures. I try as hard as I can to tell him about them, and to make animal sounds. It just so happens that there are a ton of animals for which I have absolutely no fucking idea what kind of sound they make. A flamingo? A walrus? How about a giraffe?

So we grab my phone and look them up. We find YouTube videos displaying pictures or video and – most importantly – sounds of the animals illustrated in Boo’s books. Is this going to turn my son’s brain into mush? I doubt it very much. What it *is* doing, however, is making him even more enthusiastic about animals (at least the ones that don’t make him cry….he really didn’t like the sounds coming out of that angry chimpanzee).

The judgement. The implication that, instead of trying to stimulate and educate my child, I’d rather throw him in front of the TV babysitter and go chat in my mummy’s groups or watch soap operas.

Ahem.

This is the worst one. Because they’re totally judging you. They’re judging you without knowing anything about you, your life, or your child. They don’t know if you didn’t get any sleep last night, and just need a 10 or 15 minute break where you don’t have to run after your toddler. They don’t know if your little one has been crying non-stop from teething, but stops as soon as he sees Elmo sing and dance on the screen. They don’t know if you have one, two or three (or more!) other children to care for, all vying for your time and attention, and you just need to distract at least one of them for a few minutes so you can take a bathroom break. They don’t know if you’re looking for educational and valuable screen options to keep your child occupied on an upcoming trip, or at one of your very few restaurant outings, without having to lug heavy books and umpteen toys with you. They don’t know…..

They just don’t know.

Boo looking at the iPad

Over the holidays my total count of restaurant dinners since Boo’s birth finally filled one hand….you better believe my little man gets to play on the iPad when our dinners are served so I have a few moments to eat, without his grabby little fingers in my plate!

So instead of judging you and telling the world how much better they are by protecting their precious little children from the inherent evils of all screens until they’re 10 years old….the “my child has NEVER” types should just shut up. They can parent their children however they want to, and I’ll be quite content to parent my children in whatever way I see fit. Even if that includes a screen from time to time.

Seriously.

I’ll get off my soap box now.

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A beautiful day for a sleigh-ride

…or a sled ride. Whatever.

A few weekends ago the frigid cold temperatures finally let up and there was a soft covering of new snow everywhere. It was the perfect opportunity to FINALLY take Boo out on his new sled!

He was a little skeptical at first, and kind of just sat there…unsure what to do.

Boo Boo sitting in his sled

But once we got off the sidewalk and into the alley behind our street – where nothing was plowed or flattened by traffic – well he started to get into it. He got up onto his knees. He leaned over to look at the snow….

Boo getting more comfortable in his sled

Boo kneeling in his sled

Boo looking at the snow

Then he leaned too far and did a somersault out of the sled. He cried and I laughed (bad mama, I know….at least I wasn’t bad enough to take a picture of it…I helped him up instead).

Boo looking surprised at the snow

He quickly got over it, and got back to looking all around him and marvelling at…well, everything.

Boo looking behind the sled

Boo happy to be in his sled

It was such fun! I can’t wait to go out again!

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Why Boo Boo grabs at glasses

Boo recently started reaching for and grabbing at my glasses….it’s not my favourite thing. Because obviously, I need them to see. I’m pretty blind without them, and so if he were to (god forbid) break them, I’d be screwed.

(Well, not completely screwed. I do have another pair but they’re my “good” pair that very easily come off my face….so very “bad” for a grabby toddler.)

One day, however, in a moment of both frustration and curiosity…I let him have them just to see what he would do. I assumed he would throw them on the floor (we were already on the floor, so I figured they wouldn’t have far to go). But instead, he did this:

Boo happily looks at Mama's glasses

Boo goes to put on Mama's glasses

Boo gets Mama's glasses on his head

Boo wears Mama's glasses

Of course he did.

His entire life he’s seen his Mama with glasses on her face. All. The. Time. He sees his Daddy wearing glasses to read books and to look at his tablet…pretty darn often. Of course he wants to wear them.

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Mummy’s little zombie

As mentioned previously (and it feels like constantly) Boo’s sleep has been, shall we say, total crap. I’ve been blaming it on teething and the fact that he’s been working on something big.

Real big.

Like walking:

He started off sticking his arms straight out in front of him for balance, making him look kind of like a zombie….but since then he’s been practicing and practicing. Now his arms are kind of all over the place (sometimes in front of him, sometimes over his head, sometimes kinda flailing around), and the distances are getting to be so impressive.

So proud of him!

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